Archive for April, 2009

Alfa Canguro: The Most Beautiful Car Ever Made?

Monday, April 6th, 2009

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Beauty is a difficult thing to define. It’s a cliché to say that it resides in the perception of the observer. Anyone with an aesthetic atom in their being knows that the non-​​relative, objective, obviously apparent kind of beauty truly exists.

There of course can be beauty in the magic play of numbers on a balance sheet, in the engin­eering brilliance required to squeeze a hundred miles out of a litre of fuel, or the ability to carry safely a screaming family of six to the coast for a weekend without causing marital breakdown.

Problem is, this deeply embedded, functional aesthetic has appar­ently dominated vehicle design of the last few years.

But as obvious as the fact that beauty is every­where, and that it can take on a variety of manifest­a­tions – is the fact that Giugiaro’s distinctly feminine design for Bertone of the Alfa Canguro, that debuted at the Paris salon of 1964, must be one of the most object­ively beautiful cars ever designed.

Its lines flow each into each with an almost other­worldly harmony; the wheel arches describe the sort of arc that Michaelangelo must have dreamed about in the halls of renais­sance Rome; the curved glass work and fibre­glass that encased the cabin folds the driver in like the pilot of a fighter plane; the D-​​type inspired nose and cut-​​off, perky tail hints of nimbleness and endless fleet of foot.

Though the light­weight, supremely slipstreamed design never manifest in a road-​​going production Alfa, a version of the car survives, last reported shown at a concours event in Italy in 2005, appar­ently by a Japanese owner. Elements of the design informed many classic Alfa and Bertone designs, partic­u­larly the gorgeous Montréal of 1970.

Is beauty truly in the eye of the beholder?

Let us know what, if anything, pleases your pupils as much as this slice of automotive heaven.

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Riotous Rides

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

Anyone who happened to be in the city of London on the much hyped ‘financial fools day’ this week, may have noticed, in the gathering throng of demon­strators, onlooking construction workers and suits in strategic mufti, that the Metropolitan Police had things locked down tight. Having been schooled in the dark arts of urban control from their earliest recruiting days at Hendon, every copper knows that controlling the streets is central to the job of nation’s finest.

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Making its charis­matic presence felt to that end was this heavy duty beast. The met owns three of these ‘Guardian’ vehicles, which are heavily armoured special construc­tions produced by Jankel in Surrey – based on Ford’s F450 Superduty chassis. The beast is pictured here stoically burbling with not a little menace, outside the much maligned masonry of the Bank of England. According to police press releases, the Guardian boasts a 6 litre, 325 BHP engine, a raft of electronic surveil­lance equipment and is practically blast proof. This is no Chelsea tractor. This is a Tottenham Tank.

Contrast the riot-​​quelling potency of The Guardian with this pathetic little excuse for a practical joke played on the Met by the demon­strators themselves. Around a dozen, very callow protestors found themselves arrested and their vehicle impounded when the bright sparks, in ebay-​​bought riot gear, tried to roll through Bishopsgate in the middle of the city of London loaded up in this six wheeled Alvis Saracen.

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But taking the props from revheads from the crowd over the whole period of the London summit was, of course, Barack Obama’s much publi­cised Cadillac built beast known as Limo One. As well as being equipped with rocket propelled grenades and a full raft of bullet and blast proof armour and glass, it has a new type of roll-​​flat tyres which can allow the car to drive at up to 60 MPH after blowouts to all four boots. Handy.

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But despite the level of bling designed into this presid­ential ride, it seems the even the President’s men can’t pull off a proper three-​​point turn in the confines of Downing Street. It’s somehow comforting to know that even the Kings of the Universe are constrained by the realities of urban planning.

The E-Type: campest or coolest?

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

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Of all the cars of the sixties that have been trans­formed into icons thanks to the long lens of Nostalgia, the E-​​Type Jag is surely one of the coolest.

Sure, the Mini gave flight to the dreams of the swinging decade, and put a whole new gener­ation and gender out on the road in a genuinely affordable British runabout encoded with exotic design values.

But combine the E-type’s phallic nose and its carnally sweeping rear with the olfactory delights of the hide-​​and-​​walnut interior and you have hands down a car that screamed ‘sex’ like no other. And sex always, of course, equates to cool.

Even in it’s earliest manifest­ation, the bubble-​​butted Series I (above), the 3.8 litre engine could propel this love bomb to sixty in a shade over 7 seconds. Enzo Ferrari himself is said to have regarded the car as one of the most beautiful ever made.

The E-​​Type was pretty, quick and British. Doesn’t come much cooler than that.

And if you don’t believe Enzo, ask Eva.

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Now the lasci­vious plunderings of French comic-​​book spy hero Diabolik might be stretching the very idea of sexiness to breaking point, but can you imagine what other car of the sixties would suit the PVC happy “master of sports car racing” ?

No. I thought not. Because rather than simply sexy, the E-​​type is the campest car ever designed.

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Vincent, Hunter and Ruby

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

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We all know that full face helmets are useful in a number of ways. Not only can they expose ones sculp­tural features to full view of the peeps on the side of the road as your growl past them, V-​​Twin burbling in a macho manner – but they can give a sense of rebel­lious derring-​​do.

Stylistic state­ments aside, we’re wondering whether the urge to look sexy is worth risking a full-​​on facial injury for. We know how the folk at Ruby feel.

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Coming straight out of the 16th arrondisment rather than the badlands of New Mexico, Les Ateliers Ruby are purveyors of supremely refined bespoke helmets, scarves and other paraphenalia that tap into a strange European ‘cooling’ of things essen­tially American and greaser. The website is worthing checking out, just for the soundtrack.

Somewhere in the fashion world a residual ache for the inherent cool of motor­cycles glows. Ruby offer a complete person­al­isation service. You can order your very own design rendered in beautiful carbon fibre, leather lined magni­fi­cence. You just need the Vincent. Problem is, to quote Hunter S Thompson the late, great godfather of Gonzo, if you met the nicest people on a Honda, on Vincent Black Shadows you met nutters.

That is the attitude of the New Age superbike freak, and I am one of them. On some days they are about the most fun you can have with your clothes on. The Vincent just killed you a lot faster than a superbike will. A fool couldn’t ride the Vincent Black Shadow more than once, but a fool can ride a Ducati 900 many times, and it will always be blood­curdling kind of fun. That is the Curse of Speed which has plagued me all my life. I am a slave to it. On my tombstone they will carve, “IT NEVER GOT FAST ENOUGH FOR ME.”

And therein lies the rub. The worlds of fashion and trend are far removed from the thigh burning, greasy reality of owning a classically brutal bike. That’s why, we suppose, hi tech super­bikes make perfect sense. But gimme a 1952 Vincent any day.

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